it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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