Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize
