my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
