Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
