Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
