Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I am midnight drunk by noon
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
