It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
