i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
