I feel like abortions should bother me more
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
