I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
