uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
