Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
