I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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