Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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