Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
