Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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