Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
