he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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