No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
