Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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