Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Randomize
