Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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