Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
