I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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