So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
