Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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