And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
