i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
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