I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
We left an ass print on the piano.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
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