Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
So much Jack, so little girl.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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