PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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