I think scott just propositioned me for sex
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
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