You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
