So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
you traded sex for a burrito?
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
