i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
