I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
