her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Randomize
