I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
