well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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