I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
