i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
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