White coat. Heels.
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
it's like iHOP with fire
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
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