My first STD was from a foam party
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
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