Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
