I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
