is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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