I didn't shave. On purpose
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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