Taylor Swift is so right about you.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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