I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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