Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
