I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
